Lately, for a variety of reasons I’d personally rather not disclose on the internet, I’ve been feeling especially lonely and worn.
However, out of this emotional cold, I have discovered a sense of beauty and quiet joy in life, as well as tender direction in how to live my life. I’ve spoken before about the kind of person I would like to be when I “grow up.” I would like to possess a gracious strength. A backbone made of steel but swathed in charm and grace. I understand that my rough and tumble tendencies will most likely keep me from ever becoming perfectly sophisticated and, well, classy, but that doesn’t mean I have to react with anger or bitterness whenever it seems my trust has been broken and a sense of loneliness or abandonment seeps into the cracks of my tough protective exterior. I might be lonely, but the world is still a remarkably beautiful place. Life is still a precious and fragile gift to be nurtured and adored. The people I love may be 1500 miles away in either direction, but they still love me strongly and deeply. I want the ability to maintain a sincere and gentle smile even while the pain in my chest seethes, and I suppose the only way to develop such a capacity for enduring love is through practice.